


Healer

by darlingargents



Series: Ladies Bingo 2017/2018 [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Barriss Offee's Hero Worship, Character Study, Community: ladiesbingo, Gen, Jedi, Mentor-Mentee Bonding, Parent-Child Relationship, Relationship Study, Sort Of, this is fairly happy but makes my heart sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 14:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13929306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingargents/pseuds/darlingargents
Summary: Barriss Offee will always be a Jedi, and the best Jedi she can be. If nothing else, she is sure of this.





	Healer

**Author's Note:**

> Ladies Bingo square **Healer**. Because ever since the Rebels finale I've been overly emotional about Star Wars in general and I miss SW:TCW and lady Jedi.

“Your experience on the ship rattled you.”

Barriss doesn’t answer Luminara immediately. She’s watching holovids from an earlier attack in the war. Studying what went wrong. What should have been done better. After a moment, she pauses the vid and looks at her master. Soon to be former master. Her trials of Knighthood are scheduled for next week. In the throes of the war, they need as many adult Jedi as they can get.

“It did,” she says simply. “I’m very glad to hear that Ahsoka is alright, of course.”

“Yes.” Luminara folds her hands and sits down next to Barriss on her bed. Barriss doesn’t normally spend time in her room — lately she’s been deployed so often that she barely recognizes this space as hers — but it’s still strange seeing Luminara there. Normally they would meet elsewhere.

But she’s preparing for her trial, and still recovering from her… possession, on the ship.

When she thinks of the snakes that took over her body, she feels sick. Violated. It’s disconcerting. She doesn’t think that Jedi are supposed to care so much about their own bodies and agency. They belong to the Force first, the Order second, and the Republic third. Their own self is a distant fourth, if even that.

“I think you should apply for a position as a healer,” Luminara says. Barriss blinks at her.

“A healer?”

“Yes. You could apprentice here, probably under Rig Nema — I know her, she’s a friend of mine. Stay out of the war. See less of the fighting.”

“But… I’m good at that.” Maybe not the fighting, per say, but Luminara must know that Barriss is excellent at strategy and adaptation. She’d taught those skills to her, once upon a time. Was Barriss just not good enough? Was that why?

Some of her upset must show in her face, because Luminara gives her a small smile. “Yes, you are. You’re excellent. But Barriss… it’s clear you were meant to be a healer. It’s where your talents lie. Your talent at strategy is admirable, and I am very proud of it, but you could be so much more as a healer.”

There’s something warm in the centre of Barriss’s chest, and she smiles without really thinking about it. Luminara smiles back. If they were more physical people, they would probably have hugged right then, but they aren’t; Luminara simply inclines her head, and leaves.

Barriss lets her smile widen as she lays down on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Compliments from Luminara have always been rare, hard-earned, and reserved for the most exceptional moments. To hear Luminara say that she’s _proud_ of her… it’s almost overwhelming.

The bubble of warmth in her chest grows, and grows, and grows.

* * *

She passes her trials. Luminara isn’t there. She’s on another planet, fighting for her life and the glory of the Republic.

* * *

Rig Nema is a good teacher, but she is very different from Luminara. She’s heavier on the compliments and less direct in her critiques. At first, it’s a relief. Barriss doesn’t have to worry about a verbal dressing-down if she makes a mistake. But she soon realizes that many of Master Nema’s compliments come when she does a thing correctly, but not perfectly. Her mistakes are corrected gently and always with a few extra compliments thrown in — presumably to save Barriss’s ego.

She doesn’t say anything about it, but Barriss feels like Master Nema is rewarding her when her work is just passable, and that feels ridiculous.

She misses Luminara, she realizes one night while she’s working late, and it freezes her in place. Does it count as attachment? She doesn’t know.

It’s frightening. For a moment, she feels almost adrift. She wonders if this is the first step on a path to darkness.

She meditates on it. She concludes that wartime has strengthened bonds, and individual Jedi’s concerns about their padawans or masters surviving has translated into something that seems almost like attachment. But it’s not. She knows the difference. She won’t let herself be corrupted.

Barriss Offee will always be a Jedi, and the best Jedi she can be. If nothing else, she is sure of this.

* * *

She sees Luminara for the first time since that conversation six months into her apprenticeship. Luminara and her squad had just freed a planet from Separatist control, and she now has a week on Coruscant to recover and celebrate before she’ll be sent out again. She visits Barriss in the medical wing, and as soon as Barriss finishes with a bacta treatment for a badly burned clone, they meet in Barriss’s small office.

“Congratulations, my former padawan. I heard that you passed your trials with flying colours.” Luminara’s eyes glow with pride, even if she isn’t saying it. Barriss feels warm in her chest again. None of Master Nema’s compliments make her feel like this.

“That’s what I was told,” she says.

“I am not surprised. I knew you could do it. And I see you took my advice. How are you finding healing?”

“I enjoy it.” It’s true. Even though she wishes her relationship with Master Nema was more effective, it’s still good. She’s good at it, she enjoys it, and while it hurts to see men die on her watch, when she saves them it’s a joy like no other.

“I thought you might.” Luminara is truly smiling now. “I am very glad to see that you have so clearly advanced. You were made for this.”

Barriss lets herself smile. “Thank you, Master.”

Luminara inclines her head, and reaches out to touch Barriss’s shoulder, gently. A light, comforting touch. Barriss has to forcibly stop herself from locking up in shock as she stares openly in Luminara’s warm eyes.

“You’re very welcome, Barriss.”

Barriss can’t explain the instinct, but a moment later she’s wrapped Luminara in a hug.

She freezes as soon as she realizes what she’s done, ready to pull away with many apologies for her unprofessionalism, but after a moment, Luminara returns her embrace. It’s not a long or particularly intimate hug, but when Barriss pulls away, Luminara is still smiling, and Barriss feels her heart warming again.

“I’m sorry, Master,” she says, just in case. It doesn’t hurt to cover her bases.

“It’s quite all right, Barriss.” Luminara’s chrono beeps, and she glances at it, and then sighs. “Duty calls, I’m afraid. It was good to see you.”

She makes her way to the door — not far in this tiny room that Barriss calls an office — and pauses there, looking back at Barriss. Her eyes are still warm.

“I am very proud of you, padawan. I look forward to seeing what you accomplish. Master Nema will be able to help you develop your skills, far better than I could.”

“Thank you, Master,” Barriss says. She’s said that already, but she isn’t sure her brain is capable of thinking of different words right at the moment. She’s caught on the way Luminara had said _proud_ and _seeing what you accomplish_.

Luminara smiles at her one last time, and leaves.

Barriss’s break isn’t much longer, but she sits down for a moment, letting herself smile as her mind spins.

Really, she realizes, there’s only one thing Luminara had said that she had even the slightest disagreement or problem with.

She doesn’t truly believe that any Jedi could teach her better than Luminara could.

But she keeps those thoughts to herself, and goes back to work.


End file.
